I'm not an idiot. I'm generally described as driven, motivated, and professional. I'm good at problem-solving and reading comprehension. I am, however, excellent at procrastinating.
I am also somewhat lacking in the realm of decision-making. For example, when I decided that I wanted to be a pharmacist when I was a senior in high school, I decided that the safest and most responsible decision was to apply to a college with a pre-pharmacy and a professional pharmacy program.
A College. As in one. As in I only applied to one college when I was a senior in high school and hoped for the best.
I am incredibly lucky. I got into that school, and have been attending that college for five years because halfway through I had a minor identity crisis (which revolved around the sudden realization that not only was pharmacy a shit job, but that I also didn't have a high enough GPA to get into that program and, as my advisor so kindly said, I never would) after which I changed over to a similarly challenging but infinitely more forgiving P/Tox major.
P/Tox is basically pharmacy school without all the stupid professional practice crap. I know all the cool sciency shit without having to know a single fucking thing about practical application of the sciency stuff. I totally know how all those cool drugs work, but could I dose them? Nope. Would I catch interactions? Nope. I can, however, calculate how long it'll take for a drug to drop from toxic to therapeutic levels in the case of an overdose. This, obviously, is a useful life skill.
With a Bachelors in P/Tox, I would be able to hold a pipette and do boring science things for people who have had more schooling than me. I want to be one of those people with more schooling who therefore get to make the cool sciency decisions and figure out cool shit and possibly win a Nobel Prize for my cool sciency shit, so I decided last summer that I wanted to go to grad school.
And, fortunately, the professor that I work with was all like, "Dude, I'll totally write you a letter of recommendation! Where do you want to go to school?"
*crickets*
Me: "Um...here?"
Him: "If you wanted an assistantship, I'd totally like to have you be a TA and work in my lab some more. Because you've been totally fucking rad so far."
Me: "That would be rad. Let's do that."
Okay. So that's not what he actually said. He sounded much smarter and more professional than that. I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember how that actually went, but that was the gist of it.
So I checked out the grad school application. It wasn't due until Jan 1st. I, in my infinite wisdom, thought, "I have tons of time to finish this!"
Lies. I've almost completed the application, and it's 11:11 PM on December 31st. I'm currently wondering if a deadline of Jan 1st means Jan 1st at 12:01 AM or 11:59 PM. As in do I have a little more than 24 hours to finish this thing OR do I have less than an hour?
I have not found an answer to that question anywhere. However, I am only waiting on one letter of recommendation (the acquisition of which is akin to pulling a femur out of a still-living marathoner on speed) so all should be fine.
Unless, of course, the College of Pharmacy takes personal offense to my using two English professors at two different universities to write two of my three letters of recommendation, the third coming from my mentor and research coordinator. I am currently praying with all my might that neither of those English profs chose to write letters about why I should not get into grad school and should instead devote my time to writing the next great American novel and knitting them scarves and cute little hats because in reality that's what I'm actually good at: writing and knitting things.
I can make quilts and crochet too, but that's beside the point.
So provided that I don't end up not getting into grad school because the committee of people who let people into grad school and give them money to be a professor's own personal bitch decide that they want to read the next Great American Novel which I would then be forced to pen on torn scraps of paper because I would be an impoverished alcoholic because only impoverished alcoholics seem to write anything really, really profound...I should be in grad school next year, and getting paid to do it, and that would be really rad.
Because in grad school I'd have money and a direction in life. And if I don't get it, I'll be forced to complete an English major in addition to my P/Tox major and then be hopelessly confused and pulled in too many different directions for the rest of my life until I get into grad school (second try).
I'm double nervous because it took me two fucking tries to get into the program that I'm in now, and like fuck am I going to apply to grad school twice.
Well, I totally would, but I really hope that it's unnecessary.
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