Graduate School Application Freak-Out

I'm not an idiot. I'm generally described as driven, motivated, and professional. I'm good at problem-solving and reading comprehension. I am, however, excellent at procrastinating.

I am also somewhat lacking in the realm of decision-making. For example, when I decided that I wanted to be a pharmacist when I was a senior in high school, I decided that the safest and most responsible decision was to apply to a college with a pre-pharmacy and a professional pharmacy program.

A College. As in one. As in I only applied to one college when I was a senior in high school and hoped for the best.

I am incredibly lucky. I got into that school, and have been attending that college for five years because halfway through I had a minor identity crisis (which revolved around the sudden realization that not only was pharmacy a shit job, but that I also didn't have a high enough GPA to get into that program and, as my advisor so kindly said, I never would) after which I changed over to a similarly challenging but infinitely more forgiving P/Tox major.

P/Tox is basically pharmacy school without all the stupid professional practice crap. I know all the cool sciency shit without having to know a single fucking thing about practical application of the sciency stuff. I totally know how all those cool drugs work, but could I dose them? Nope. Would I catch interactions? Nope. I can, however, calculate how long it'll take for a drug to drop from toxic to therapeutic levels in the case of an overdose. This, obviously, is a useful life skill.

With a Bachelors in P/Tox, I would be able to hold a pipette and do boring science things for people who have had more schooling than me. I want to be one of those people with more schooling who therefore get to make the cool sciency decisions and figure out cool shit and possibly win a Nobel Prize for my cool sciency shit, so I decided last summer that I wanted to go to grad school.

And, fortunately, the professor that I work with was all like, "Dude, I'll totally write you a letter of recommendation! Where do you want to go to school?"

*crickets*

Me: "Um...here?"

Him: "If you wanted an assistantship, I'd totally like to have you be a TA and work in my lab some more. Because you've been totally fucking rad so far."

Me: "That would be rad. Let's do that."

Okay. So that's not what he actually said. He sounded much smarter and more professional than that. I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember how that actually went, but that was the gist of it.

So I checked out the grad school application. It wasn't due until Jan 1st. I, in my infinite wisdom, thought, "I have tons of time to finish this!"

Lies. I've almost completed the application, and it's 11:11 PM on December 31st. I'm currently wondering if a deadline of Jan 1st means Jan 1st at 12:01 AM or 11:59 PM. As in do I have a little more than 24 hours to finish this thing OR do I have less than an hour?

I have not found an answer to that question anywhere. However, I am only waiting on one letter of recommendation (the acquisition of which is akin to pulling a femur out of a still-living marathoner on speed) so all should be fine.

Unless, of course, the College of Pharmacy takes personal offense to my using two English professors at two different universities to write two of my three letters of recommendation, the third coming from my mentor and research coordinator. I am currently praying with all my might that neither of those English profs chose to write letters about why I should not get into grad school and should instead devote my time to writing the next great American novel and knitting them scarves and cute little hats because in reality that's what I'm actually good at: writing and knitting things.

I can make quilts and crochet too, but that's beside the point.

So provided that I don't end up not getting into grad school because the committee of people who let people into grad school and give them money to be a professor's own personal bitch decide that they want to read the next Great American Novel which I would then be forced to pen on torn scraps of paper because I would be an impoverished alcoholic because only impoverished alcoholics seem to write anything really, really profound...I should be in grad school next year, and getting paid to do it, and that would be really rad.

Because in grad school I'd have money and a direction in life. And if I don't get it, I'll be forced to complete an English major in addition to my P/Tox major and then be hopelessly confused and pulled in too many different directions for the rest of my life until I get into grad school (second try).

I'm double nervous because it took me two fucking tries to get into the program that I'm in now, and like fuck am I going to apply to grad school twice.

Well, I totally would, but I really hope that it's unnecessary.

Christmas Projects Continued

Today, I must finish my Mom's scarf (July is for Jag pattern on Ravelry), the Mongoose's scarf (a basic basket-weave scarf in a brown wool/alpaca blend) and my sister's hula hoop.

I finally crocheted the edging on Dad's hat. The gift Thorpe is languishing in my house (200 miles away from where I am right now) as is Amanda's fingerless gloves. The cripple's blanket is on hold because I'm busy finishing the pressing projects.

I also have on the agenda for today: helping make buckeyes, making bath salts (to be added to Christmas presents for friends at school), and ransacking my parent's house for things to make soup mix out of for the Boyfriend's family. Also, knitting his Mom's hat.

So, we're going to break this down into stuff that I'm going to do before I knit my mittens and stuff I'm going to do after I knit my mittens. Because I want my fucking mittens before the snow goes away and at the rate I'm going, I'm going to get around to making my own winter-appropriate knitted goods in May. Which is thoroughly pointless and quite a bit frustrating.

Next year, everyone is getting gifts from Amazon because next year I will have money because next year I will be a grad student who will hopefully have a stipend. Booyah.

Before mittens:
*finish Mom's scarf
*hula hoop
*Mongoose scarf
*start BF Mom hat

After Mittens:
*cute little owls
*finish BF Mom hat
*soup mixes for BF Family
*Amanda's fingerless gloves
*cripple blanket
*slipper socks for Em and Lauren

It's not like I'm going to see the people that those are for until well after Christmas anyway.

I should probably bake cookies for the people who wrote me letters of recommendation. That would be a good choice. Cookies...will be baked once I'm back at school. Sometime in January.

Classes start the 10th. I'm trudging through the reading lists for my English Lit classes. So. Much. Literature.

Why am I trying to do this much crap during this break? Shouldn't I be sleeping in and watching movies and reading blogs on the internet?

Nope. I'm not that cool.

Somedays I Make Things

Today has been an awesome making stuff day. I started out this morning making a dress out of a Men's XL dress shirt - which is incomplete because I predictably became frustrated (because mornings after poor nights of sleep are not awesome for thinking) and my bobbin suddenly ran out and I decided to abandon the project for the moment. Plus there were more important things to be doing today.

Like finishing my Secret Santa present. Which, by the way, isn't complete yet. The hippo part is done. I need to knit up some antlers. Then I need to fabricate a muumuu out of the lovely (and by lovely I mean absolutely butt ugly) orange paisley flannel that I found at Walmart. Then I need to work up some hot pink fishnet fingerless gloves. Then I'm done, damnit.

I finished the hippo around three today, then I promptly became distracted. When I become distracted, it's always by the most ridiculous things. I was stumbling over the internet while eating lunch and came across a youtube video of some bitchin' hula hooping skillz.

Problem: I have never in my life been able to operate a hula hoop. Ever. As in I have had a dozen people try to teach me, and I fail. Miserably. Repeatedly.

I put it on the list of things that my brain can't learn. Along with Medicinal Chemistry II. But that's a different story entirely.

When I say that I can't hula hoop, I mean that I can't keep a hula hoop going around my waist. I can do really cool things with my arms and I can keep it going around my neck and throw them and catch them while keeping them spinning. I had to compensate for my grade school recess hooping failures somehow.

So, I'm watching this video and I realize that I've learned how to do a lot of things from the internet that I never thought I'd be able to learn.

Problem. I don't own a hoop.

On a lark, I googled how to make one, and wouldn't you know that there are free instructions online. They seemed easy, so I went out to the Home Depot and did some shopping and came home and set to work.

Here's where I got the instructions: http://www.hooping.org/archives/000359.html

I used 180 psi 3/4" polyethylene tubing and a suitable connector. Getting the tube into a loop was the hardest part. The hairdryer mentioned in the tutorial did not work nearly fast enough to suit me, so I poured some boiling water over the tubing and man-handled it together.

I wrapped it first with black electrical tape to cover the numbers and letters printed on the tube. Then I wrapped it closely with purple then topped with a looser wrap of green. I love purple and green together, and my hoop came out looking pretty.

So I picked the thing up, stood in the middle of my kitchen, and gave it one final shot.

And wouldn't you fucking know, I finally figured it out. I was so stunned when it didn't fall to the ground that I forgot what I was doing and dropped the damn thing anyway. I don't know what planets aligned for that to work, but it totally did and I'm kind of excited about it.

Lee can't make fun of me for not being able to hula hoop now. :)

Some Things

Remember that green sundress that I was working on last summer? Well, I finally figured out how to make my sewing machine do button holes (which was more a matter of overcoming laziness than any increase in intelligence on my part) so I finished that sundress completely last week. I also fixed the awkward bunching that happened on the bodice. It's a cute sundress. I can't wait to make more of these with the other patterns I have hidden away in my closet.

I'm knitting presents at the moment. I have a hippopotamoose in the works for my Secret Satan for Mor'sereg. I'm working on a commissioned hat for a friend of mine that he's planning to give to his girlfriend for Christmas. I'm still halfway through the Picot and Lace Armwarmers. I still need to do the crochet edging on my Dad's Thorpe.

Yesterday I acquired some lovely gold fabric that I'm going to turn into a pair of pantaloons and a tunic (the same pattern as the wool suiting one in black).

I bought a book called Itty-Bitty Toys by Susan B. Anderson. I am absolutely in love with this book. I especially want to make the felted bouncy balls. I know so many people who would love them.

I received my GRE scores. I'm proud to say that I earned a 5.0 on the essay, which is right around where I expected to be.

I have the foam that I need for my shield in the garage as we speak. It is simply too cold to worry about foamsmithing right now.

I've pulled the garb items that I had problems with during the dag season for refurbishment. During the off-season, I'm planning to convert/salvage them. In particular, there is a pair of wrap pants made out of gold fabric with purple detailing that I made to match a purple mandarin-collar tunic which I never wear. I'm going to convert them into pantaloons (since I know for a fact that I will wear the shit out of some pantaloons).

Also, this upcoming week is my last week of class this semester. I'm starting to prep for finals, which draws me away from my fun projects.

I've also started to piece a quilt. So busy!